Sub-sistence

To butcher a line from a Weird Al song about Yoda (which parodied a song called Lola), but if it fits…  This was my fate Thursday when I accepted a PE job at a middle school.  This was every bit as unexciting as it sounds.  There was a yoga instructor two double-classes of eighth grade with myself and at least one other teacher standing bored while the kids went through a yoga routine.  When I first found out about the yoga my spiritual sensors perked up as yoga can be taught from a spiritual point of view.  Hey, if Christianity isn’t allowed in the public schools neither is Eastern Pantheism; i.e. new age religion.  Fortunately they left this part out, and I did pay close attention to make sure of it.  I have read too many stories of kids being taught the experience of other religions, and not just about them to just sit back.  In any event, as I said, all was well.  They mostly did relaxation exercises and positions, with no explanation of those positions, at least on that day.

You might have noticed I mentioned eighth grade with the yoga.  What about 6th and 7th grades?  After all this is PE we’re talking about.  Well, those grades did yoga too, or fitness, depending on the class.  However, the teacher I was subbing for had four periods of health and just two of PE.  6th grade had a video to watch.  It was a video that was shown on prime time TV around 1990.  It was a “test” about how much we know about handling emergencies, and was hosted by the late John Ritter.  It also had several other stars of the day including Richard Dean Anderson, Michael Landon, Julia Child, and the one that played the geeky character in The Wonder Years.  I tried to look up this video on IMDB but it never got entered in as none of the actors I looked up had any reference to it listed.  Essentially it was a 45-minute multiple choice/true-false test (with at least one other type of question thrown in).  Of course we didn’t finish it, but a couple students asked if they would finish it tomorrow which means it interested them.

The 7th grade classes also involved videos.  They were making videos with iMovie, using the built-in webcams on their iBooks.  This got interesting watching them finish them, playing the parts of police officers, drunks, homeless people, announcers, and whatnot.  Many were editing though so I didn’t get to see everyone act.

Wednesday was really nothing special, just an easy day with 3rd grade.  Easy particularly because they had a half-hour of gym in the morning, an hour of art in the afternoon, and twenty minutes of filling out a “wish list” for the book fairs.  These Scholastic book fairs are really for the benefit of Scholastic and the schools, which receive commissions in books for the books sold.  As for the consumer, the parent, it’s just an opportunity to pay full cover price for some books and software.  I guess since it does benefit the schools I really can’t complain.

This brings us to today.  I was in the rival school to the one I was at Thursday.  The subject: one of the five foreign languages taught at this school.  In fact, for 6th graders they have to take every one of them during the year.  They all have one period divided into quarters for the year and one period in sixths.  These “hex-mesters” are a short six weeks, so needless to say they don’t learn the languages as much as explore them.  7th and 8th graders are treated to a full year in one language for the learning purpose.  I would suppose they get to choose which language they want to take.  Which one did I sub for (don’t even think I taught this class…)?  Just call me Herr Teacher instead of Mr. Teacher.  Actually, don’t because I don’t like the sound of it. :)  These kids just made word searches all day with a particular set of deutsch (German) words each grade had been learning.  Well, they can’t all be fun days.

From Tuesday to Thursday, I guess it could be said that I went from 8th to 8 and back again… :D  Eighth grade to 8 years old, like C & L’s eldest, back to 8th.  Well 6th and 7th grades were involved too, but still… 

I am very tired so I will make this one quick.  Besides, it was PE again, at the same school as Friday, so there isn’t much to say about it.  Kickball again.  The only real difference was I had 8th grade health instead of 6th, so I had the 6th graders for PE instead of the 8th graders.  I had to show a video in health class about abstinence.  They did some good object lessons on the video involving cups of water contaminated with spit and food and then sharing the cups.  Also, using clear packing tape as a lesson by sticking it first to one person’s arm, then another, and another, then finally sticking two of these together and comparing it to two pieces of tape never used stuck together.  I actually had to show this for only one class as there was an assembly during the other one.  Outside.  But that was okay even if the temperature was in the mid 50s.  It wasn’t all that bad.  It was about a new solar panel that was installed at the school that they said could provide energy to light one of the rooms 24/7 I think they said.  Not much, but apparently worth it.  Our village president was there along with the superintendent and even our local US House representative.  Each of them, along with a student and the principal, gave a little speech about it.  My role?  Not much since the entire school was out there which of course included all the regular teachers to keep the kids in line.

Well I’m going to leave the post with that.  Hopefully I will be less tired tomorrow when it comes time to blog.

I was in conversation with another teacher and he happened to say this about the current eighth grade class.  After today I would agree on this for a few students with a wish that they would grow up soon.  These students are the ones teachers have in mind when they say they will never teach middle school.  One of the eighth grade PE classes had a several students that could fit this category.  They would not settle down and listen to the rules of the game they were to play.  By the time they finally got started, there was less than 15 minutes left until I had to bring them back up to get changed.  Yes, we were inside even though it was a fairly nice day outside- the other two classes were outside and apparently there are only two fields to play softball.  I can’t say, unfortunately, that eight grade was the only issue.  One of the sixth grade classes also drove me nuts.  It took awhile to start with them as well, and it took a lot of time to rotate teams between games as well.  Fortunately the other four classes went well (6th, 8th, and two 7th).

What we played was scooter volleyball.  Two nets were set up in the room downstairs (they call it the fitness room- apt because they do that there as well, like aerobics they had to do when I was there a couple of times last year).  The teams sat on scooters (those squares on four wheels/castors you plant your butt on) and played volleyball that way, using a gator-skin ball probably because the court was so shallow and the ceiling low.  Most volleyball rules applied, but some were a little different like you could catch and throw the ball, not just bump or set it.  It was also played in two-minute games so the one team who was rotated out wouldn’t have to wait long.

Well, that’s about it.  I should say I am fortunate there was still another guy teacher there with me today to take over most of the duties in the locker room.  When you think of a gym locker room you might think of a place that reeks of BO.  You’d be half-right.  It reeks all right- of Axe and other spray deodorant.  Either way, something to stay out of.  At least it’s not like when I was in junior high when we had to take showers.  Nude of course.  I think I would have to just say no to subbing for PE if that were the case.  I guarantee I would not bother with making sure they all took showers.  It’s interesting to note that many of these schools still have the showers, even if they are no longer used.  Well, used for their intended purpose.  Some schools use them as storage.

The assignment I took for today at that furthest school was art and drama.  Interesting combination as usually drama is the realm of the music teacher.  It was actually a pretty easy day.  School started at 8:00, so I was there at 7:45.  My first class? 9:30.  That’s right, I had over an hour and a half to kill reading, answering nature’s call, eating free food in the lounge…

This is teacher’s appreciation week, so the PTO provides food all week for the teachers.  Well, I certainly wouldn’t want to offend the PTO by not doing my part here.  Bagels, doughnuts, fruit, juice- a second breakfast!  Okay, I didn’t eat that much, but suffice to say I was satisfied with my mid-morning snack.

9:30 rolled around and the first of three classes came in.  Now three doesn’t sound like much, but remember this was art and drama so I had to teach two of the classes both, so it was really more like five classes- still an easy day though.  This first class was 2nd/3rd grade, and it turned out I had subbed for this class before earlier in the year, which had its own interesting tale of two subs showing up for this one job.  The teacher had requested a particular sub, making the arrangements herself, then proceeded to put the job in the system as sub needed but not filled so I took that job when it showed up.   The principal chose to side with the system, so the requested sub had to do work elsewhere in the building.  She wasn’t too happy because this apparently was the second time this had happened to her.

Anyway, back to today they just completed a project for art- in fact all three classes did, though differing projects of course- and then I got to teach some drama.  Well, play some drama games with them.  We did a game called “Change Three Things” which was n observation game.  They partnered up and observed each other for several seconds.  Then they turned around, changed three things about their appearance then turned back and tried to figure out what changed.  It could have been something as simple as closing an eye, or as obvious as, well I will use one of the students as an example for this- one boy unbuttoned his shirt and put it on again, backwards.  Yes, he held up the game doing this- it took as long as you can imagine.  Now if it was a t-shirt like most kids wear it would have been quick.  Oh, well.  This was a pretty wild group so we only did one round of this.  Next we moved on to a murder-mystery game, where one person is throwing a party (his/her choice of type of party) but there is a killer at the party.  They walk around shaking each others hands while at the same time acting like the type of party it is- pizza, tea, whatever.  The killer would “kill” someone by tickling another player with his/her finger while shaking hands.  The “victim” would wait ten seconds before “dying” dramatically.  The ten seconds being so we wouldn’t catch the killer in the act.  Of course, being 2nd and 3rd graders this more sophisticated game didn’t go quite so smooth.  Sometimes they would forget to wait ten seconds or the killer would forget to be discrete.  And of course everybody wanted to guess at once.

6th grade was only art, so I will move on the the last class, 4th/5th grade.  This class was supposed to be a pretty bad class, but to be honest, aside from a few boys who just wanted to make origami “fortune tellers” because they were finished with the project then go and bug everyone around them with their fortune tellers, I had more trouble with the 2nd/3rd grade class.  In any event, for drama I didn’t get to choose the mystery game, so for them we did skits about three items.  In groups they would pick three unrelated items (example: frog/basketball/telephone) and make a skit around these three things.  The trick was they were not allowed to say the names of these objects in the skit.  When a group finished, the rest would try to guess the three objects.  Of course the goal was to make the objects easy to guess and this would be an indicator of how well they got their message across in the skit.  In the end, many were easy to guess but there were a few tough ones.  In all, I would say they did a pretty good job with it.  Only some audience participation left something to be desired.

Well, I was able to find another job in the same district tomorrow while writing this.  More free food I hope.  :D  Same school as the rejected job, a school I will be at on Friday as well.  So far four days in this same district this week.