Happy Thanksgiving!

A little turkey day humor

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Ode to Thanksgiving

To our national birds
The American Eagle
The Thanksgiving Turkey
May one give us peace in all our states
And the other a piece for all our plates

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Thanksgiving Divorce

A man in Phoenix calls his son in New York the day before Thanksgiving and says,”I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.

“Pop, what are you talking about?” the son screams. We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer,” the father says. “We’re sick of each other, and I’m sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her.”

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. “Like heck they’re getting divorced,” she shouts, “I’ll take care of this,”

She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at her father, “You are NOT getting divorced. Don’t do a single thing until I get there. I’m calling my brother back, and we’ll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don’t do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?” and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. “Okay,” he says, “they’re coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way.”

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Stuffed Turkey

Baby Bruno was sitting in his grandmother’s kitchen,
watching her prepare the Thanksgiving meal.

“What are you doing?” Bruno asked.

“Oh, I’m just stuffing the turkey,” his grandmother replied.

“That’s cool!” Bruno said.
“Are you going to hang it next to the deer?”

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The Turkey Popped Out of the Oven

The Turkey popped out of the oven
and rocketed in to the air;
It knocked every plate off the table
and partly demolished a chair.
It ricocheted into a corner
and burst with a deafening boom,
Then splattered all over the kitchen,
completely obscuring the room.
It stuck to the walls and the windows,
it totally coated the floor,
There was turkey attached to the ceiling,
where there had never been turkey before..
It blanketed every appliance,
it smeared every saucer and bowl;
There wasn’t a way I could stop it;
that turkey was out of control.
I scraped and I scraped with displeasure
and thought with chagrin as I mopped,
That I would never again stuff a turkey
with popcorn that hadn’t been popped.
written by Jack Prelutsky

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HAPPY

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THANKSGIVING!


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4 Responses to “Happy Thanksgiving!”

  1. jamiahsh Says:

    AH… gotta love the Charlie Brown Thanksgiving.

    Turkey’s Lament

    A turkey sat on a barnyard fence
    And he sang this sad, sad tune
    Thanksgiving day is coming
    Gobble, Gobble, Gobble
    And I know I’ll be eaten soon
    Gobble, Gobble, Gobble
    I would like to run away
    Gobble, Gobble, Gobble
    I don’t like Thanksgiving Day

  2. derek Says:

    Yep, just as Snoopy said, er- thought, T-day is a bad time to be a bird.

  3. taylhis Says:

    Thanks for the Thanksgiving amusement! I especially liked the story about the divorce and will be forwarding it to my parents 😉

  4. derek Says:

    I’m glad to have provided the fun. 🙂